lean with it

I was recently visiting family in the so called "Bible Belt" of America.

With the Bible Belt come small, home grown churches that are usually permanent fixtures and pillars in a community. They are generally years old, and the attendees, unfortunatly, seem to be as old as the building itself.

I myself grew up in a very similar church. It wasn't quite the center of the Fredericksburg community because of the size of the area, but it most certainly played an influencial and critical role in who I've become as an individual.

I say this as a disclaimer of sorts because I know that churches that fill these roles are not bad. If they are based on the gospel and the teachings of Christ, then fundamentaly they are correct.

But are they relevant?

Probably not.

I wish this were not so, but unfortunatly I could probably gauruntee that the outreach of many of those churches does not extend beyond their own church community. Little missions work is done, few efforts to truly reach out and impact the area are attempted and it would be rare to find many churches swerving from the well beaten path of tradition.

And while this country club mentality continues, a whole generation cries out for something more. Those churches, the ones that are shrugged off as irrelevant and full of old farts, are responsible for this generation.

Should not these old farts be connecting with the youth and pouring into them so that may have mentors? Should not the church be persuing the community as if their lives depended upon it? Should not they be making more than the halfhearted and limp efforts that they are?

Yes, they should!

The American Church, denominations aside, is falling behind. It happened in Europe, and it's rapidly occuring here. The younger generations do not see church as relevant, which is becoming more and more apparent as time progresses.

We need to learn how to role with the punches instead of being a condemning brick wall. We need to take a step back and listen to what the masses are saying around us. They are desperate for us, and we're falling miserably short.

new things

You can't control the actions and reactions of others around you.

All you can control are your own. So, instead of whining and whimpering about somebody else, realize they only affect you because you are letting them afffect you.

Turn your own mindset on its head and you'll find you're less likely to be offended and far more inclined towards understanding.

you make beautiful things

I do not personally believe in writers block. There will always be something to write about, you just have to buckle down a little bit. Freshen up your routine a little and you'll most likely have some sort of inspiration hit you.

So, a couple days ago I did just that and I happened to take a drive down a road less traveled (by me at least). I had to go to my mothers work, the same elementary school I attended as a youngster, and the route that I had traveled nearly ever day for six years of my life was looked at in new eyes.

I quite honestly felt kinda old going through those back roads, but one of the most distinct things I can remember from my trips to Hartwood was the old African American man that used to stand on the side of the road at an intersection and just wave to people as the drove by.

I used to always be so worried for him because he really did look like he could keel over at any moment, also the back roads were not exactly the safest place to be. But at least once a week that man was out there with his big toothy grin waving at everybody.

I really will remember him always because of that litte bit of kindness he wished to share with the busy bee's lost in the bustle of their morning routines.

Pottermore

The only thing that I recollect from my second grade school year is that my teacher, Ms. Dixon, was very large and that she read the first Harry Potter aloud to us.

I also remember that I checked out the second in the series a few weeks afterwards and some know-it-all kid on my bus telling me my parents wouldn't want me to read it because of it's satanic themes and other such nonsense.

So, me being the good Christian daughter that I am, I came home and promptly hid the book under my pillow until the evening when I was "asleep" and could read in peace.

They didn't know about the pentagram hidden under the carpet either.

It wasn't until the fifth book came out that I too decided to come out of the closet and declare my Potter fanaticism. My parents weren't surprised in the least. It seems that I was not as sneaky as I had originally thought. 

They didn't mind of course. They knew that I wasn't going to hurl myself off a building with a broomstick and hope to fly, so they saw no harm in my reading the books. Just for the record, I'm very thankful of my parents for that.
Moving on.

With this final movie it all came to an end. There will be no more of the series. Or at least, there better not be, it would seriously cheapen the story. And there will be no more movies.

So of course I'm exceptionally sad about that; the finality of it all.

But the means to the end. Everything that was in between the beginning and the end made the finality worth it.

Jo brought so much life to three fictional adolescents and through that life, she in turn brought it to her readership. She made literature relavent to an age group and opened doors to the imagination that no one has since come close to touching.

She done good, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

a letter to henry purcell

Today I threw two dollars out the window.

I don't mean figuratively, as in I wasted two dollars on a trifling purchase, I mean literally.

There is a particularly long traffic light one usually has the pleasure of sitting at before they enter the mall complex. Because of it's advantageous proximity to parked and bored motorists, homeless folk tend to frequent the median and pull on peoples heart strings with various cardboard signs. 

Today on my way to the movies I happened to be sitting at this light, but found that there were no homeless people standing there begging. I was actually dissapointed. It was the first time that I had cash on me in a while and I wanted to just give it away!

But I found myself in a pickle with nobody to give it to!

So after a few frenzied seconds of debating with my friend and brother, I chucked two dollars out the window as I began to pull up.

It was quite honestly one of the most enjoyable things I've done all summer. Just to not feel chained to money!

I know the people behind me probably thought I was crazy. I had obviously thrown it. There could be almost no reason to think that I had accidently dropped it; my movements were far too defined. But even if I did look a little crazy I think it was probably worth it.

Maybe I am crazy for throwing cash out the window, but chances are somebody somewhere will find that money, even if it's not a homeless person who would have most likely stopped by shortly!

Those few bucks will make somebody somewhere smile and to me, that's all it should matter.

My favorite poem.

i carry your heart with me

i  carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-e.e  cummings

One page

Current location: Shade of a tree in the mountains.

I'm at a Fuge camp, which is more or less "church camp. (For lack of a better phrase)

I'm acting as a leader for for the first time, at the first camp I've ever attended (yes, I'm a deprived child) so it is two firsts rolled into one for me this week.

I really enjoy it though. I've learned much how to lead and to listen (the two are very closely related) and plenty about my own faith.

Each student is allowed to pick their own "tracks" which is more or less the activity you wish to do after lunch. There are actively based ones: volley ball, jewelry making, etc.) and then class room based ones (apologetics, world religions, prayer etc.)

The two that I ended up being placed in were peer ministry and why we believe what we believe. The second day upon walking into peer ministry I see a torn out page from the bible laying on the ground discarded.

At first I was ignored it sort of, though I did wonder how it came to be torn out of the bible, but made no real fuss. But I got bored a little and picked up the page to see which one it just happened to be.

It was a page out of James and I read it wondering how much a nonbeliever would learn from this singular page, and all that jazz.

Not much honestly, but then I thought about all the other countries in the world and how hard it is to grow in their faith because of restrictions placed on them in their government or their regional location.

I bet someone in that circumstance would have been overjoyed to come across a page of the bible like I did. Even if it did happen to be the genealogy of Abram or Lot!

They thirst so strongly for the word of god that they are content with so little. And yet, I with all my things am not content with all my different translations of the bible, and it's fancy cover and devotionals etc.

I just wish I had a thirst. I'm too passive in my faith. I feel like this week, with all the trials that I've faced and that I will continue to face, the bible studies and the worship, that passiveness will begin to be broken down and built back up into an active mindset.

Those are my prayers at least!

History in the making

I am a personal fan of history. It's just so awesome to me! A lot of people don't like it, and I suppose I can understand why they wouldn't. It's boring (or it's been presented to them in boring ways), they find it irrelevent to their lives; irrelevant to the world.

I find it interesting for two reasons. One being, I love to read. So I perceive history in a similar way; a story filled with characters with quirks and oddities (Nero was without a doubt up there in quirks), plot twists and climaxes.

Secondly, everything in the world, all the current events, are all reactions to past events. And those past events that caused the current eventes are merely reactions to events that occured even beore their own. And the cycle goes on and on and on until the dawn of time.

To fully understand the now we must understand why and how it all started. We can learn, maybe how not to handle a situation based upon history. We can learn which methods have already been used, refine them and make them our own.

(I feel like such a nerd writing this, but it's so true!)

You can also apply this love of history to an individual. When you understand a persons past you begin to understand why he may think one way and react the way he does. You can begin to have a better relationship with all around you if you only take a moment to consider, that yes, he has a past too.

I'm going to stop shoving my favorite subject down everyones throat now!

Some day soon

I'm writing this post in a composition notebook while sitting in through probably one of the biggest time waster of all my summer.

It's a "Student Development" class that is required by my community college.

I know it's necessary in the sense it's required, but one would think that after 12 years of schooling I'd been developed as a student enough! It's kinda one of those things where you're incessantly thinking "8 hours...8 hours of this drivel...and then another 8 hours tomorrow!" And then you want to just run out of the class room foaming from the mouth.

But! (and there is almost always a but!) that is just one view point!

I could, if I so wished, face this class with a more positive spin.

My complaining and surliness will not benefit me this weekend while I sit in an already uncomfortable desk. If
I sit here with a dour expression I may as well be pouring salt in the wound.

Cuz it ain't helpin'.

To college my friends.

Cheers.

"For people who likely do not drink, they hide it well."

The following is a blogpost from the pastor, Mark Driscoll, of Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington.

Westboro Baptist Church, This False Prophet and His Blind Lemmings Welcome You to Our Whore House for God’s Grace and Free Donuts The Mars Hill Blog

I feel kind of lame for just reposting some dudes own blog, but I really really enjoyed it, and I think it has many more than just one grain of truth.

I know many people who absolutly despise the Westboro Baptist Church, and I can easily see why they would. Looking at pictures of their children wearing tie-dye t-shirts with phrases like "GOD HATES FAGS" etc on it is one of the more disturbing things in life.

But when you begin to fight hatred (their hatred) with more hatred (your own hatred), all you're doing is adding to the problem. You're literally fueling them.

Unfortunatly I am guilty of being a 'hate mongerer' myself. I used to despise them. I really did. I thought they gave Christians a terrible name and it absolutly disgusted me that they were even considered to be in the same realm of 'religion' as me.

But! Then I got older and wiser and I learned that everything has two sides. By hating the 'religious people' I became a 'relgious person' myself. I forgot I was called to love every single person. No matter what they do or say, that's what I'm called to do. And I'm only just now starting to actually do it.

If people stopped reporting their pickets. If people stopped becoming enraged at their half-formed and single minded arguments. If people people never even glanced their way, they would fade into complete obscurity.

They would be starved of the attention they seek and then their influence and power they hold over us would be obliterated.

If we just learn to love unconditionally, that's when they'll truly lose.

I just thought what Mars Hill did was an interesting and refreshing twist on other reactions that have been known to occur!

Heaven meets earth in a sloppy wet kiss

I'm sitting on a big rock that conveniently just fits the shape of my butt. I have coffee breath. I kinda jumped a fence to get here. I see birds and I can hear the train.

Awesome, moving right along.

Whenever I think of Virginia, the state as a whole, a big blanket of green lushness comes to mind.

Not like a literal blanket, I'm talking metaphorically here.
(this isn't some ad campaign for virginia, I promise)

But just being in that green, that metaphorical blanket if you will, is just so comforting to me. I can rest in the knowledge that all of it, the trees, the birds even the train was created for my enjoyment and for me to marvel in.

I could now go into detail about how we all need to slow down in our lives and actually do some of that marveling, bit I'm going to try to stay away from that because it's far too overused. (Oh look, I kinda just fail-boated didn't I?)

The earth was made for us to rule over. And I intend to do so with a steady hand and a kind heart. I don't mean that I'm going to become a crazy environmentalist or whatever, but I'm going to fulfill my purpose in life, whatever it may be.

The greatest day in history

Some of you may have already seen this video, it's made its rounds on the internet, but please humor me!

Now, I ask you to pretend that this woman legitimitly loves cats this much and this video is not an actress. (I assume this video is fake, but for this situation we're going to pretend otherwise).

Would that kind of passion and love for something not be absolutely amazing?

I know she's pretty much a complete crazy face for freaking out and crying over something like homeless cats...but her heart is in the right place.

Just think! A world filled with people who are so passionate and loving about something, be it orphans, the poverty stricken, the homeless!

Lives could and would be impacted beyond our imagination. Movements would be started. Barriers would be broken down.

Maybe I'm a crazy face for trying to make a viral video like this something profound or worth more than a second thought, but it just struck me that if there were more people like her, (remember, we're assuming this is not an actress here...) with their passions directed in a sensible direction, so much more would get done!

Guys! If we could only take this crazy persons mentality and apply it to our own lives!

If every individual person had something, anythting; homeless cute cats or little orphen children, that just really rankled us, we could start movements (plural).

I know, it's crazy. This is just some stupid little video somebody put up because they wanted to earn a few extra page views etc. But if you just think about it!

Find your passion and stick to its guns.

Cry over it, rage over it and post amusing youtube videos about it.

That just means it's worth it!

Simple Math

Today was a bit of a throwback to old times.

I and my best friend, Kori, went to go visit some old teachers at our middle school.

It was honestly a near fail because I apparently had had the privilidge of having all the old teachers, so when I went to go visit today they had all retired! So that was a huge bummer.

We ended up walking the halls and reminiscing. We ended up running into two of the janitors which we both had remembered.

Now, I had always kinda liked them for some reason. I had been kinda drawn to them (maybe that just makes me a creepy middle schooler?) but it's pretty much the way it works.

One of them is named James, and quite honestly when I was in sixth grade I was scared out of my pants of him. He was really really nice, no doubt about that, but he just always looked...off...you know? Picture the stereo-type of the crazy janitor but then make him the nicest guy ever and you have James. (I eventually warmed up to him, no worries there.)

But today was the first time that I had ever actually had a genuine conversation with him beyond the friendly "Hello" etc. We both learned that he actually used to attend my church Fairview Baptist church and that was where he was baptized etc. May I take a moment to just appreciate the connections that unqwittingly bond people together?

I also learned that he had been born blind and deaf and should have died at the age of 18 because of the condition he was born with. That to me was just amazing! Maybe not specifically because he survived all that, it certainly is a feat, but just that it actually happend!

And under other circumstances I may have never known about it.

Today I really began to appreciate other peoples life stories. Because every single one of us has one. They define who we are and who we want to be, and until we have at least a general understanding of another persons story, or at least the willingness to understand someones story, we'll never truly connect with them.

New life goal: Connect with a new person every day.

it's the little things

Tonight I had my first 'homeless person experience'.

I was at a cookout/dinner event with some friends in the downtown area and a homeless woman had caught a ride with one of my good friends, and she eventually needed a ride back to a gas station so that later that evening she could go sit in a hospital lobby where she is apparently allowed to stay at.

These past couple weeks and months I've been really searching for ways to reach out to the world. For a while I was dead set that it had to be somewhere foreign and exotic. I suppose I forgot about the hurt and need in our own community. It recently dawned on me I didn't have to travel to Peru or Mexico or some other such place to make a difference in someones life, and that there was more than enough work that needed to be done here.

So, my past paycheck I tucked away a few dollars in cash so that I may hand it out freely to anyone who God had pressed upon my heart, and finally this evening those few dollars and few words of prayer really payed off.

A friend and I (this friend happened to be a big strong male, worry not. =P) gave her a ride in my car. We drove her to the gas station of her choosing, and while there were the occasional awkward silences during the ride I could just feel, and I just knew that what we were doing was right.

We prayed over her; she mentioned she had arthritis in her back (I'm not sure if that was merely a tale she wove...she was not quite right in the head.) and was in some pain, and sent her off a few dollars richer.

(YAY STUPID NARRATIVE NOW ENTER REALLY DUMB PART WHERE I TRY TO TELL THE INTRONET ABOUT WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE EXPERIENCE!!!)

She was quite crazy. Not to be stereotypical. Not to be harsh. But she really truly was. And there is absolutly no blame in that whatsosever, she's probably led a rather solitary life etc. and eventually it wears you down. But I learned, or at least, my eyes were opened to the fact, that I need to be more understanding and not filled with so much condemnation.

It's not my place to judge, it's not my place to condescend. It's my place, and my duty, to lend a hand and a loving heart.

It's the little things that make a difference. And it's the little things that show love.

Show love.

Do the little things.

Even if you have to sacrifice.

Just to know that you made another individual comfortable or happy or even just smile, thtat should just be the best thing ever for you. Every single person in this world needs someone to love them.

So love the loveless.

whimsy

It just struck me a few minutes ago that I have a nasty habit of turning to others instead of Christ.

If I'm faced with a personal problem or I'm feeling down I'll bust out the cell phone and go through my list of contacts wondering who would most likely be there to listen to my drivel and la de da. If I don't get an answer I sit there dazed with my 'misery' and wallow. (It's not like I wouldn't be wallowing if I weren't talking to a friend anyhow. =P)

I suppose the point is, instead of turning to Christ, who fulfills all my needs, I turn to the flesh, which almost always lets me down.

Point taken, God.